I have been doing great with my singleton self lately. Enjoying my own company, getting things done at my own speed. Basically doing what I want, when I want. I was even dating a guy for a while who was as busy as I was and I was cool with that. But the last 24 hours have me feeling a touch sorry for myself. That old mental wrestling is going on again. It's times like these that I so want a relationship. I want a best friend to do everything with. To do things FOR. Who will do things for ME. This isn't to belittle my relationship with Jenny, but sometimes, you just want more. I want to be able to throw my man a big birthday bash like the one I went to on Saturday. I want to have a housewarming with my hubby while pregnant with our first child, like the party I went to on Sunday. I want to buy bikes with my husband of 30 years, like an older couple at that party. I want to be the one who gets a bed, because there are two of us at the lake house. I want to go on double dates, and cook dinners for two, and fight over the remote, and scream bloody murder at the sight of a roach and know that it will be attacked and destroyed for me. I want to have someone to stand at the bottom the ladder while I trim back a tree that has needed trimming for months now. I want a standing date. I want a partner in crime.
I don't want to arrive alone anymore.