Let's say you knew you needed a new job. You knew you could do many things well, but were not specialized to do any one thing excellently. You knew you loved writing, photography, and politics. But you also knew you loved money and all the gadgets and security that come with that money. To add insult to injury, you have two degrees in Advertising, but have no interest in agency life.
What do you do? Where do you even start looking? What job will allow you to be passionate, creative, and lead to financial success? Oh, and not require selling your house to accept a salary reduction.
Who do you talk to? Who do you listen to?
Do you just say fuck it all, pack up, sell the house and move? Leave all your friends, your family, everything you know, to go out completely on your own? But have an experience your independent heart may pound with excitement for, each day? What if you do all of that, and your heart doesn't pound? What if you do all that, and fail? What if you do all that and miss your home and friends with every beat of your heart?
What do you do when your heart and mind are in conflict, and you are scared and excited and willing, yet unwilling? How do you make the changes you spent so much of your adult life trying to make into routine. Running from running. Seeking solace in monotony to escape the constant change of your youth. How do you escape those fears and embrace the change again like you did as a child? How do you let that last move, the one that ripped you from a perfect world, not taint every thought and decision you imagine. How do you not see yourself crying on the front porch dramatically questioning "why?" again and again, as you watch the moving van pull away?
How do you separate the past from the future?
Labels: fears, lack of accomplishment, Work