Tongue Tyed

Plays Well With Others...

: Name: Ty; Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

E-mail me at: longhorntwice -at- hotmail -dot- com... All writings and photographs on this blog are my work. Give credit where credit is due.

Site design by:

Jan 14, 2007

Stick To It

I've been thinking a lot about what I wrote this weekend, and about the comments I received to the last post.

The one missing element in that post is something I haven't done. I haven't even given myself a chance to have everything I want. I live in one of the largest metroplexes in the country, and I haven't even tried to find what I am looking for right here.

I have convinced myself, that to get what I want, I will have to sacrifice something I love. But how can I know that until I have tried? Before I assume I will have to take a pay cut, before I assume I won't be happy unless I give up my life here, I need to give myself the chance, and the courage to try to get what I want without compromising.

As scary as it is to move across the country and start over, I may be concocting the easy way out. I know I could find a job if I widened my city base, and if I took a pay cut. Of course I could find something! And probably something I would enjoy. But I haven't even given a real go at trying to find something here. Moving is easy for me. Moving is reinventing myself. Everytime I moved as a kid, I got to be whoever I wanted at the next stop. Staying is the hard part. Even in college, in 5 and half years, I moved 5 times. Everytime, I changed things. My roommates, my friends, my degree, my dreams. It has always been an outlet for change for me.

Perhaps it's time to stick and still change. Time to take the hard route, buckle down, and wait for the rejection that inevitably comes with job hunts. But this time, not take it personally, and not give up.

Labels: fears, lack of accomplishment, Work

posted by Ty @ 1/14/2007 | 0 comments

Jan 12, 2007

What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do

Let's say you knew you needed a new job. You knew you could do many things well, but were not specialized to do any one thing excellently. You knew you loved writing, photography, and politics. But you also knew you loved money and all the gadgets and security that come with that money. To add insult to injury, you have two degrees in Advertising, but have no interest in agency life.

What do you do? Where do you even start looking? What job will allow you to be passionate, creative, and lead to financial success? Oh, and not require selling your house to accept a salary reduction.

Who do you talk to? Who do you listen to?

Do you just say fuck it all, pack up, sell the house and move? Leave all your friends, your family, everything you know, to go out completely on your own? But have an experience your independent heart may pound with excitement for, each day? What if you do all of that, and your heart doesn't pound? What if you do all that, and fail? What if you do all that and miss your home and friends with every beat of your heart?

What do you do when your heart and mind are in conflict, and you are scared and excited and willing, yet unwilling? How do you make the changes you spent so much of your adult life trying to make into routine. Running from running. Seeking solace in monotony to escape the constant change of your youth. How do you escape those fears and embrace the change again like you did as a child? How do you let that last move, the one that ripped you from a perfect world, not taint every thought and decision you imagine. How do you not see yourself crying on the front porch dramatically questioning "why?" again and again, as you watch the moving van pull away?

How do you separate the past from the future?

Labels: fears, lack of accomplishment, Work

posted by Ty @ 1/12/2007 | 4 comments

Jan 9, 2007

Notes of A (Potential) Juror

Yesterday, I had jury duty. Well, sort of. What I really had was, drive down to a bad part of town, skip work and sit in a room with 1,000 other people, 50% of whom are coughing and/or sneezing, and wait.

I live in Dallas County, which puts me in the Dallas Court system instead of a nice suburban system. I was rather interested/frightened about what I was going to find. I have been called for jury duty twice before, but both times I was living in Austin for college, so I was able to skip it. This time however, just a meager 3 months after I renewed my license and changed my address, which says to the Dallas County Courts system "I have an address! Call me!!" I was called for duty. Dallas county has some issues. Only 23% of its summoned citizens actually appear. 23%! 77% say, "to hell with that!" even though not showing can put you in contempt of court. Yesterday, they called 4,000 people. 1,000 showed up.

I started studying my fellow jurors. The average age was probably in the neighborhood of 5o, but it appeared to be split evenly between men and women. Considering 71.5% of the county is over 18, I think we have found part of the problem... Young people aren't showing up as much as older people. Ah, but that is to be expected, no?

But then I started looking at races and ethnicities. Hmm, there sure were a lot of white people...And in this case, I am not included Hispanics in my definition. Hispanics were sorely lacking. This article agrees with me on that, however, it seems to be off on the census numbers. The article states that Dallas county is 26% Hispanic, but the census states 35.2% (which sounds more accurate to me). Of that percent--chose your favorite number--only 11% show for jury duty. A similar lack of representation appeared to be occurring for African Americans, although not the same extent. The same census says that 20% of the Dallas county population is Black, but that didn't appear to be accurate in my jury group.

Those number are distressing on any number of levels, but my biggest concern is the skewed representation of the population that it creates for juries. If a jury is supposed to made up of your peers, and you are a young Hispanic man, what happens when you sit in front of a mostly white, mostly older panel of jurors?

Obviously, this is a debate is is constantly going on in the judicial world, but it was interesting to see it in action. It makes you wonder what it would take to create a more even distribution.

After all of my observations, however, I was simply sent home. I didn't even get pulled for the courts to even try to put me on a jury panel. I just sat in the central jury room reading my book, trying not to breathe in the coughing going on around me.

I have to say this was a disappointment. I am interested in law (and probably should have gone to law school) and I was curious to see how it all worked from a new perspective.

I also wanted to get asked about my response to one particular box on my jury summons. The box requested my religion, but rather than give choices, it was fill in the blank. So, since I didn't think they would like Mewish, I wrote, "Tolerant of All." As I am, and that would be the most pertinent part as a juror. But I was hoping for them to ask me why I wrote that, so that I could explain my Mewish heritage, and tolerant religious views of everyone except Republicans.
(before I piss off my Republican friends...I am just kidding!!)

Oh well, I am sure I will have another bite at this particular apple.

Labels: lack of accomplishment, politics, religion

posted by Ty @ 1/09/2007 | 1 comments

Sep 15, 2006

This Will Be Me on Sunday

...Except one year younger...

That unbridled joy, the eagerness to plunge into another year of existence dribbles out through your pores, replaced by a constant dread cementing in your stomach. Age is now “significant,” birthdays have “meaning,” years have “gravity,” all of it like a crow pecking on the inside of your skull. So you’re turning 28? Only two more years to 30! And you know what they say about women at 30. Oh, and you’d better have your career all worked out - wait, you don’t? You’ve almost finished your twenties! What’ve you been doing all this time? All these other people have done great things by 28 - but I guess you’re still “working it out.”

Yup, that pretty much sums it up...perfectly...Thank you Miss Opinionista for writing my blog post today...you took the words right out of my mouth.

Read the rest of the birthday post here.

Labels: age, birthdays, lack of accomplishment

posted by Ty @ 9/15/2006 | 0 comments

About Me