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Location: Dallas, Texas, United States
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Jan 13, 2005

From My Man, Allan:
It's a little after the fact, but my favorite political analyst, and professor I most want to be taught by, Allan Lichtman, posted his Christmas wishes for 2004's political knuckleheads...errr...geniuses...


Thursday, December 23, 2004

Holiday Gifts for the Deserving

After a long post-election rest I am reactivating this Blog in time for the holiday season.

It is a time of joy – more so for the red than the blue states – and good will. At least that’s what George Bush said after the election. It is also a time of gifts for those who have made 2004 such a special year for all of us. No refunds. No exchanges. All get what they need and deserve.

President George Bush: A “Get Out of Iraq Free” card.

The American Troops in Iraq: A ticket to home for the new year.

Saddam Hussein: A trial before he’s too old to care. The devil’s just deserts.

Vice President Dick Cheney: A duck-hunting weekend with the entire Supreme Court of the United States. An assault rifle so he won’t have to aim.

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld: A new limousine, custom-fitted with hillbilly armor.

Outgoing Secretary of State Colin Powell: A job where he gets some respect.

Attorney General Designate Alberto Gonzalez: A leather-bound copy, in big print, of the Geneva Conventions.

All the Bush Cabinet Nominees: A year’s worth of green cards to cover their domestic help.

The Democratic Party: A brain.

The Republican Party: A heart.

Former President Bill Clinton: An autographed copy of Barbara Bush’s classic, The First Lady’s Guide to Etiquette and Decorum.

Senator Hillary Clinton: A rare copy of the campaign memoirs of Geraldine Ferraro.

Florida Governor Jeb Bush: A tee shirt embroidered with his immortal quote: "I'm not going to run for president in 2008.”

Texas Representative Tom Delay: The guest of honor invitation to next year’s Thanksgiving “pardon the turkey” ceremony at the White House.

Senator John Kerry: A free political strategy session with the high-flying consulting firm of Mondale, Dukakis, & Gore.

Senator John McCain: A compendium of all the nice things that George W. Bush said about him in 2000.

Every Reporter in America: A two-week tour following Sy Hersh around wherever he goes.

The Guy Who Paid $65,000 for a Ghost on eBay: First bid on a nice big bridge I have for sale in Brooklyn.

And For All: A wonderful holiday and happy New Year.

posted by Ty @ 1/13/2005 | 0 comments