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Jan 13, 2005

From My Man, Allan:
It's a little after the fact, but my favorite political analyst, and professor I most want to be taught by, Allan Lichtman, posted his Christmas wishes for 2004's political knuckleheads...errr...geniuses...

Allan, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE YOUR OWN WEBSITE, YET!!!!

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Holiday Gifts for the Deserving

After a long post-election rest I am reactivating this Blog in time for the holiday season.

It is a time of joy – more so for the red than the blue states – and good will. At least that’s what George Bush said after the election. It is also a time of gifts for those who have made 2004 such a special year for all of us. No refunds. No exchanges. All get what they need and deserve.

President George Bush: A “Get Out of Iraq Free” card.

The American Troops in Iraq: A ticket to home for the new year.

Saddam Hussein: A trial before he’s too old to care. The devil’s just deserts.

Vice President Dick Cheney: A duck-hunting weekend with the entire Supreme Court of the United States. An assault rifle so he won’t have to aim.

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld: A new limousine, custom-fitted with hillbilly armor.

Outgoing Secretary of State Colin Powell: A job where he gets some respect.

Attorney General Designate Alberto Gonzalez: A leather-bound copy, in big print, of the Geneva Conventions.

All the Bush Cabinet Nominees: A year’s worth of green cards to cover their domestic help.

The Democratic Party: A brain.

The Republican Party: A heart.

Former President Bill Clinton: An autographed copy of Barbara Bush’s classic, The First Lady’s Guide to Etiquette and Decorum.

Senator Hillary Clinton: A rare copy of the campaign memoirs of Geraldine Ferraro.

Florida Governor Jeb Bush: A tee shirt embroidered with his immortal quote: "I'm not going to run for president in 2008.”

Texas Representative Tom Delay: The guest of honor invitation to next year’s Thanksgiving “pardon the turkey” ceremony at the White House.

Senator John Kerry: A free political strategy session with the high-flying consulting firm of Mondale, Dukakis, & Gore.

Senator John McCain: A compendium of all the nice things that George W. Bush said about him in 2000.

Every Reporter in America: A two-week tour following Sy Hersh around wherever he goes.

The Guy Who Paid $65,000 for a Ghost on eBay: First bid on a nice big bridge I have for sale in Brooklyn.

And For All: A wonderful holiday and happy New Year.

posted by Ty @ 1/13/2005 | 0 comments