Tongue Tyed: Here's To My Motherfucking Health

Plays Well With Others...

: Name: Ty; Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

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Feb 8, 2007

Here's To My Motherfucking Health

In the great big world of What-The-Fuck-Is-Wrong-With-Me we now have the following information following the large chunk of Downtown that was removed:

I do not have anything wrong with me that my very smart, very sweet, yet completely lackinging in helpfulness doctor can find.
I do not have pre-cancerous cells (Buh WAH?? pre-cancerous cells?? Who said we were looking for those?? Ohh...You, my Lacking-In-Helpfulness doctor? You were? But gee whiz, you didn't tell me that! Oh, you were trying to not make me worry? Oh how sweet of you. NOW FIND OUT WHAT HE MOTHERFUCK IS WRONG WITH ME BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN WORRIED FOR TWO YEARS!!)
She wants me to go to an Immunologist (study of or pertaining to immune systems and their function) because my immune system may be fucked.
She wants me to get tested for Diabetes!!! Oh holy shit. New worries. Motherfucker. Diabetes??? Now everytime I pee one too many times I am going to think it's a symptom. And every time I crave a carb, and every time my toes go numb on the ellyptical at the gym (do you ever have that happen?) and every time I get a little shaky hungry, and every time I am tired.
Oh funfucking times.

I talked to The Architect about this last night (oh did I mention? We are still together. We are exclusive but not girlfriend/boyfriend...no, I have no idea what that is about...) So anyway, I told him about it all and needed some support and sympathy. He did his best. In true guy fashion, he didn't understand that what I really needed was someone to just bounce words off of and hear "everything will be ok" in return. But he got the hang of it. I think it sort of surprised him, because as we all know, I am Miss Independence. But he handled it well. He told me something though that I just don't know how to do. He told maybe I should just stop worrying and leave it up to God. I mean it's a classic concept in religion, but you know, I don't think I have ever done it? And where is the line between proactively helping God but not worrying and proactively helping yourself and worrying?

(Sorry for all the cursing, but dude, it's how I feel right now.)

Labels: health

posted by Ty @ 2/08/2007

3 Comments:

At 10:15 AM, February 08, 2007, Anonymous said...: yes, thats the problem, you got yeast infections because you didnt leave it up to god! isnt it obvious? If you had left it up to him (her,or whatever) before, the problem would be solved by now, and we'd all be living in itch-free bliss.

lots of people said, "leave it up to god" as the hurricane in new orleans hit and they didnt leave the city. how'd that work out?

whether you believe in god or a big spagetti meatball monster in the sky (which is equally impossible to disprove) or nothing at all, it is your body, and no one is going to solve its problems except Ty...(still thinking of the spagetti monster? go ahead, try to disprove it)

besides, if god is so all powerful, why the hell does he need us to trust him before he'll solve our problems? This god person sounds very insecure. I guess just because he is all-powerful doesnt mean he doesnt like to have his ass-kissed once in a while by his inferiors.

And I have another question: how do athiests live perfectly nice lives when they dont trust god? Strange that they can survive and accomplish things or solve issues without him. You'd think he'd make them suffer more, he seems like such a spiteful bastard in that book were told he wrote:

He kicked adam and eve out of eden for eating an apple. He drowned all of humanity except Noah and his family (and dont forget about all those godless animals he let drown too, they deserved it). He killed every first born egyptian cause he didnt like their ruler (he was kind of a dick). After freeing the israelites from slavery he made them wander for 40 years in the desert (really compassionate). Then he told them to make war on the philistines and canaanites for having the audacity to live in a place that he promised to someone else.

He made Job suffer just to prove a point (who does god have to prove anything to?). And then, he sends his only kid to die a horrible death.

And what the hell does an all-powerful being need a kid for anyway, cant he handle his creation himself?

Obviously, this all powerful guy has some major personality issues. or he fucked up when he made creation and had to keep trying to fix it (which would mean that hes not all powerful).

Or maybe its all just a fairy tale to make us feel better. But it still aint gonna solve your yeast infection....

see ya after the rapture,
RJ
At 2:09 PM, February 09, 2007, Summer said...: My feet ALWAYS go numb on the elliptical. It's normal. At least you have THAT! ;-)
At 9:41 AM, February 11, 2007, Anonymous said...: "exclusive but not girlfriend/boyfriend..."

Is NOT exclusive...don't kid yourself. I haven't seen your blog in several months, I would think that by now you could call yourselves girlfriend/boyfriend.
Sorry to hear about your health.
dw

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